Sudha will always be missed. Nobody can take a mother’s place. But Pooja has struck a wonderful guiding role as Prasad’s older sister.
It reinforces my belief that somebody up there looks out for us. He has masterminded and orchestrated a plan that you and I can’t even incipiently fathom.
We tend to worry and overthink (including yours truly). It’s not unnatural. When you have a child with special needs, the number one thought at the back of your mind is , “what will happen to my child after me?” Don’t you feel it?
The thought keeps me up at nights.
I use a few reminders to keep myself grounded. You can use these too.
1. Worry Doesn’t Change Things
It gives something to you mind to do. But it doesn’t change anything, besides pushing you towards negativity.
Ask yourself – can I do anything about it now? If the answer is ‘no’, let it go. Then redirect yourself to something else that you can do immediately.
When you’re with your child, be fully with him. It works wonders – both for you and your child. And it’s meditative.
Remove the distracting phone, switch off the TV.
Even if you’re teaching concepts or working on some activity, be fully present. Don’t do things half heartedly. It doesn’t make you feel good. Besides, your child picks it up right away.
At times, Mohit paints and I watch. I enjoy watching him pick his colors, make those flamboyant strokes. It transports me to a peaceful world; a world where there are no agendas, where there is no right or wrong… a world where we both accept each other – just as we are.
Your child needs self-help skills. But should you teach letters and numbers before he is toilet trained?
I see many young moms (all with good intentions) going from one therapy to another with their 6-year-olds who are not yet toilet trained.
I ask just one question: “It looks alright now. But can you imagine how this will look when your child is 15?” Bathing, brushing, grooming – all these need to be in place.
Teach your child to problem solve, to take changes in his stride, to adapt to situations. He may have a repertoire of a hundred words, but if a change in schedule leads to an aggressive episode what is your quality of life?
5. Communication Training is Essential
Give your child a voice.
Each child is different. If a child is non vocal- figure out how he can communicate. Make communication training a daily part of your routine with your child.