7 Steps To Creating Victory In Your Child’s Life

We just finished a 4 week training on Communication.
It left me with a deep sense of fulfillment.
Most of all I was touched by the sincerity of the parents who participated.
4 of the 5 participants had children in their teens.
The youngest was only 5 years old.
And this baby of the class stole everyone’s hearts.

 

Week after week the parents showed up and submitted videos on their children.
Hard working moms (and dads), willing to take advice and change their way of communication for the benefit of their children. 

 

The realisation hit home once again: our autism journey is a marathon and not a sprint.

 

In the running world, sprinting and marathon races are on opposite ends of the spectrum and require very different skills. While both are challenging and require intense training, asprint focuses on the short term, a marathon focuses on the long run.

Read more here.

 

I thought of my friend, Sujatha Jain who is marathon runner. I wanted a real life experience from a marathon runner.

 

She laughed as she commented that she had in fact, written an article on her experience of running a marathon.

 

Her words stayed with me, “The simple tweak lies in the mindset you bring to the table. If you think you are willing to appreciate the process and the the effort you put in, instead of just your ultimate goal- you become unstoppable on the growth path.

 

Wise words, indeed.

 

And words that each parent can apply to their lives.

 

As I continued to think about how our lives as parents of autistic children relate with marathon runners, the following words flashed in my mind.

 

1. Endurance

 

Our journeys get tough, there is no denying that. Being prepared is important.
The ability to endure is half the battle won.

 

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Connect with like minded people who sail in the same boat as you.
Trust me, a problem shared is a problem halved.

 

2. Stamina

 

You build stamina by taking care of yourself first. No, it’s not selfish.
I ask every parent, ‘what do you do for yourself?’

 

So what is your ‘me time?’
Do what you enjoy. If you’re happy, your child will be happy too.

 

3. Purpose

 

Most parents say, I want my child to be happy.
Dig deeper, what does that commonly translate to?

 

Keeping in mind the transitory nature of life- it means independence for your child (as much as possible), meaningful friendships and relationships with family, and having a productive day.

 

If you keep this purpose front and center in your life, you will accomplish much.

 

4. Determination

 

As parents we need to be strong and determined for the sake of our children.

 

Determination is very important because it enables us to persist in the face of difficulties. It makes us march fearlessly ahead with faith until we achieve our goal. Since life is never smooth, many of us fall off when we come across obstacles. But with determination, we can overcome any type of obstacle.

 

5. Expecting setbacks

 

Life is certainly not a bed of roses. Expect the good and the bad. Move along, despite everything.

 

With our children, we may encounter unexpected twists and turns.
Sometimes there are behavior issues, illness, anxiety.

 

This is life. And it doesn’t mean we should give up.

 

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6. Optimum utilization of resources

 

We all have limited resources- time, energy and money.
It’s important to focus on what will benefit your child.
I see many young parents ‘shopping’.
I’m not judging you- I did it too.

 

On hindsight, I could have avoided a lot of it.

 

By asking myself this question- Is this truly beneficial for my child, how will It help in the long haul, am I just doing this because I need to do something and I don’t know what.

 

Keep these questions in mind and do your research.

 

7. Emerge victorious

 

Your autistic child deserves a good quality of life. And so do you.
Don’t stop till you get here.

 

Enjoy beautiful moments with your child. These moments are precious. And this time will not come back again.

 

It’s a marathon and not a sprint.

 

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To prepare for this marathon, we’ll have to:

 

 

Build endurance
Work on our stamina
Have our purpose in mind
Be determined
Expect setbacks
Utilize our resources judiciously
And finally- Emerge victorious

 

Perhaps all this ties up with what my friend Sujatha mentioned:

 

If you think you are willing to appreciate the process and the the effort you put in, instead of just your ultimate goal- you become unstoppable on the growth path.

 

I pray we all become unstoppable.
More than anything else, each of our children/students become unstoppable in their life’s journey.

 

Kamini Lakhani

Kamini Lakhani is the founder and director of SAI Connections. She has been providing services in the field of autism for more than 25 years and is the authorized director of Professional Training for RDI in India and the Middle East. She is also the mother of a young adult with autism.

4 COMMENTS

  • JURIMA DEKA says:

    Hello ma’am,
    Thank you for sharing these “7 Steps to Creating Victory in Your child ‘s Life”. Yes, LIfe is a Marathon and not a sprint”As I am a teacher working at Montfort School , Guwahati (An Inclusive Educational Complex) it is very helpful for me.

    With Love
    Jurima Deka

  • Arshya Trehan says:

    Thanks Kamini for sharing this,
    Such a beautiful reminder This article is!
    During the pandemic, all your articles have been of great moral and mental support !
    Has helped and reminded me time and again of the goals Of happiness with Not only our son , but my neurotypical daughter too!
    Look forward to the next one already !
    Many regards to you!

  • Thank you so much Arshya.

    Glad you find my posts useful.

    Please take care.

    Best Wishes.

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