Watching Nakshatra bargaining with her mother to write numbers upto 30 only, made me smile. (Her mother wanted her to write upto 50).

It may not be a big deal for those interacting with neurotypical children, but for me this was a huge deal! The emotions attached to the activity made it an even bigger deal.

I reminisced about teaching our students academics, 12 years ago.

We had invested in a top of the line academic curricula for reading, language and Math.
No doubt, the programs were absolutely amazing. But something was missing.

After reaching a point, the students would start showing resistance.
Once the resistance came in, it was difficult to proceed.
Teachers continued to repeat the same lessons. They were the ones exerting and pushing. Our students weren’t taking responsibility to move ahead. Each lesson became a chore on both sides. No body looked forward to the lessons anymore.

I remember Vidya (name changed) flopping on the floor. It was difficult for staff members and helpers to help her stand up. She was strong and adamant.
20 minutes of the 30 minute session would be spent in getting her to stand up and cajoling her to continue with the lesson.

I also recall Anand (name changed) parroting off answers without actually understanding the context. Beyond a point it appeared to be absolutely rote.
Oh yes, the words were there. But the meaningfulness was certainly not.

Those scenarios were a clear contrast to what I saw with Nakshatra.

Take a look at this video to get a glimpse of what I saw.

 

It took time for Nakshatra’s parents to build this up. They worked hard on the RDI Program.
As their RDI Consultant, it was my privilege to watch this emergence.

The foundation is built by the guided relationship between parent and child, backed by emotional sharing and connection, resulting in the child feeling safety and trust.

 

Image credit: Tag for Growth



Trust comes from connecting with the parent via the guided participation relationship.
When we look at typical development, children spend the first three years of their life building dynamic intelligence by connecting with their parents.
Then they go into school life and continue to learn at school.

For children on the spectrum, we need to build in the foundations of a back and forth interaction so that they can flourish with learning. Building the foundation of a relationship where they feel safe and nurtured is the first step.

 

Image Credit: Dr Mona Delahooke

Once the foundation of guided participation is firmly in place, we need to build the pillars.

This foundation itself, reduces rigidity and anxiety in our children, hence making them ready for learning.


Here are a few pillars that should be built up so that learning becomes easier for our children.



1. The Pillar of Dynamic Intelligence

Dynamic intelligence is about thinking and problem solving in a world that is constantly changing. Once a child is able to take changes, make decisions- s/he becomes flexible and adaptable.

Without dynamic intelligence, the building of learning cannot stand for too long.
And learning will turn out to be a cumbersome, uphill task for your child.




2. The Pillar of Regulation

A child who is ‘regulated’ is a child ready to learn.

You can work on your child’s emotional regulation by working on these 4 Regulatory Patterns.

a. Assembly line (sender receiver pattern)
b. Reciprocal (we take turns to repeat the same role)
c. Simultaneous (we have the same role and we perform it together, at the same time)
d. Contingent (we have different roles and each of our roles is dependent on the other i.e there is a contingency)

 

Image created by Empowered Autistic Individuals.

(The EAI online platform offers trainings to respectfully support special needs students.)

Let’s take an example of frisbee play. Start by establishing a pattern. Toss the frisbee to each other. Once the chlld understands his/ her role, you introduce little changes (just noticeable differences by changing position or speed).
You can add futher challenges by both of you throwing frisbees to each other at the same time.

This is much more than just a simple frisbee play. We’re building neural connectivity by adding just noticeable differences and challenges to a pattern.

Engaging these kind of activities over a period of time helps the child regulate. Once your child is regulated, s/he will be in a state of readiness to learn.



3. The Pillar of Motivation and Resilience

Once the child is regulated, you want to then move on to building resilience.
It’s time to challenge the child and let the child struggle with items/ activities s/he finds difficult.

https://youtu.be/GpxNn2_Ftuk

The way to build resilience is through struggle. When a child becomes resilient, s/he becomes motivated to stay and engage with activities/ academics.
Unless a child is resilient- he will not be able to engage with academics or skills that are difficult.

Look at how Atharv struggled with dog house and how his mom supported him through this and let him be on the spot.
But before that she had him engaged in skills that he was comfortable with.



4. The Pillar of Competence

Competence, the feeling of achievement is a byproduct of the above pillars.

It’s defined as, ‘the ability to do something successfully or efficiently.’

It gets build up through spotlighting your child’s achievements and then encoding the experience for your child, so that your child feels the competence.


Catch your child being good and let them know how proud you are of them.

Then reflect on it later with them.
You have various options. Choose the one/s your child feels comfortable with. Each individual is different.

Writing about an experience
Taking/ sharing pictures
Watching selfie videos
Listening to audio recordings
Creating power points
Creating memory collages
Typing on laptops/ computers
Typing on augmentative communication devices such as AVAZ


Build this beautiful structure by laying the foundation (through the guided relationship), then lovingly erecting each pillar.

1. The pillar of dynamic intelligence
2. The pillar of Regulation
3. The Pillar of Motivation and Resilience
4. The Pillar of Competence

Build this house step by step with your child.

Each house will look different because each child is different. Each one learns differently and has a different set of co-occurring conditions.

Once you build the foundation and pillars, you’ll be surprised how your child gets better with academics too.