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<?php
/**
 * Deprecated functions from WordPress MU and the multisite feature. You shouldn't
 * use these functions and look for the alternatives instead. The functions will be
 * removed in a later version.
 *
 * @package WordPress
 * @subpackage Deprecated
 * @since 3.0.0
 */

/*
 * Deprecated functions come here to die.
 */

/**
 * Get the "dashboard blog", the blog where users without a blog edit their profile data.
 * Dashboard blog functionality was removed in WordPress 3.1, replaced by the user admin.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.1.0 Use get_site()
 * @see get_site()
 *
 * @return WP_Site Current site object.
 */
function get_dashboard_blog() {
    _deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.1.0', 'get_site()' );
    if ( $blog = get_site_option( 'dashboard_blog' ) ) {
	    return get_site( $blog );
    }

    return get_site( get_network()->site_id );
}

/**
 * Generates a random password.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.0.0 Use wp_generate_password()
 * @see wp_generate_password()
 *
 * @param int $len Optional. The length of password to generate. Default 8.
 */
function generate_random_password( $len = 8 ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.0.0', 'wp_generate_password()' );
	return wp_generate_password( $len );
}

/**
 * Determine if user is a site admin.
 *
 * Plugins should use is_multisite() instead of checking if this function exists
 * to determine if multisite is enabled.
 *
 * This function must reside in a file included only if is_multisite() due to
 * legacy function_exists() checks to determine if multisite is enabled.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.0.0 Use is_super_admin()
 * @see is_super_admin()
 *
 * @param string $user_login Optional. Username for the user to check. Default empty.
 */
function is_site_admin( $user_login = '' ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.0.0', 'is_super_admin()' );

	if ( empty( $user_login ) ) {
		$user_id = get_current_user_id();
		if ( !$user_id )
			return false;
	} else {
		$user = get_user_by( 'login', $user_login );
		if ( ! $user->exists() )
			return false;
		$user_id = $user->ID;
	}

	return is_super_admin( $user_id );
}

if ( !function_exists( 'graceful_fail' ) ) :
/**
 * Deprecated functionality to gracefully fail.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.0.0 Use wp_die()
 * @see wp_die()
 */
function graceful_fail( $message ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.0.0', 'wp_die()' );
	$message = apply_filters( 'graceful_fail', $message );
	$message_template = apply_filters( 'graceful_fail_template',
'<!DOCTYPE html>
<html><head>
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8" />
<title>Error!</title>
<style type="text/css">
img {
	border: 0;
}
body {
line-height: 1.6em; font-family: Georgia, serif; width: 390px; margin: auto;
text-align: center;
}
.message {
	font-size: 22px;
	width: 350px;
	margin: auto;
}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<p class="message">%s</p>
</body>
</html>' );
	die( sprintf( $message_template, $message ) );
}
endif;

/**
 * Deprecated functionality to retrieve user information.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.0.0 Use get_user_by()
 * @see get_user_by()
 *
 * @param string $username Username.
 */
function get_user_details( $username ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.0.0', 'get_user_by()' );
	return get_user_by('login', $username);
}

/**
 * Deprecated functionality to clear the global post cache.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.0.0 Use clean_post_cache()
 * @see clean_post_cache()
 *
 * @param int $post_id Post ID.
 */
function clear_global_post_cache( $post_id ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.0.0', 'clean_post_cache()' );
}

/**
 * Deprecated functionality to determine if the current site is the main site.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.0.0 Use is_main_site()
 * @see is_main_site()
 */
function is_main_blog() {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.0.0', 'is_main_site()' );
	return is_main_site();
}

/**
 * Deprecated functionality to validate an email address.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.0.0 Use is_email()
 * @see is_email()
 *
 * @param string $email        Email address to verify.
 * @param bool   $check_domain Deprecated.
 * @return string|false Valid email address on success, false on failure.
 */
function validate_email( $email, $check_domain = true) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.0.0', 'is_email()' );
	return is_email( $email, $check_domain );
}

/**
 * Deprecated functionality to retrieve a list of all sites.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.0.0 Use wp_get_sites()
 * @see wp_get_sites()
 *
 * @global wpdb $wpdb WordPress database abstraction object.
 *
 * @param int    $start      Optional. Offset for retrieving the blog list. Default 0.
 * @param int    $num        Optional. Number of blogs to list. Default 10.
 * @param string $deprecated Unused.
 */
function get_blog_list( $start = 0, $num = 10, $deprecated = '' ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.0.0', 'wp_get_sites()' );

	global $wpdb;
	$blogs = $wpdb->get_results( $wpdb->prepare( "SELECT blog_id, domain, path FROM $wpdb->blogs WHERE site_id = %d AND public = '1' AND archived = '0' AND mature = '0' AND spam = '0' AND deleted = '0' ORDER BY registered DESC", get_current_network_id() ), ARRAY_A );

	$blog_list = array();
	foreach ( (array) $blogs as $details ) {
		$blog_list[ $details['blog_id'] ] = $details;
		$blog_list[ $details['blog_id'] ]['postcount'] = $wpdb->get_var( "SELECT COUNT(ID) FROM " . $wpdb->get_blog_prefix( $details['blog_id'] ). "posts WHERE post_status='publish' AND post_type='post'" );
	}

	if ( ! $blog_list ) {
		return array();
	}

	if ( 'all' === $num ) {
		return array_slice( $blog_list, $start, count( $blog_list ) );
	} else {
		return array_slice( $blog_list, $start, $num );
	}
}

/**
 * Deprecated functionality to retrieve a list of the most active sites.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.0.0
 *
 * @param int  $num     Optional. Number of activate blogs to retrieve. Default 10.
 * @param bool $display Optional. Whether or not to display the most active blogs list. Default true.
 * @return array List of "most active" sites.
 */
function get_most_active_blogs( $num = 10, $display = true ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.0.0' );

	$blogs = get_blog_list( 0, 'all', false ); // $blog_id -> $details
	if ( is_array( $blogs ) ) {
		reset( $blogs );
		$most_active = array();
		$blog_list = array();
		foreach ( (array) $blogs as $key => $details ) {
			$most_active[ $details['blog_id'] ] = $details['postcount'];
			$blog_list[ $details['blog_id'] ] = $details; // array_slice() removes keys!
		}
		arsort( $most_active );
		reset( $most_active );
		$t = array();
		foreach ( (array) $most_active as $key => $details ) {
			$t[ $key ] = $blog_list[ $key ];
		}
		unset( $most_active );
		$most_active = $t;
	}

	if ( $display ) {
		if ( is_array( $most_active ) ) {
			reset( $most_active );
			foreach ( (array) $most_active as $key => $details ) {
				$url = esc_url('http://' . $details['domain'] . $details['path']);
				echo '<li>' . $details['postcount'] . " <a href='$url'>$url</a></li>";
			}
		}
	}
	return array_slice( $most_active, 0, $num );
}

/**
 * Redirect a user based on $_GET or $_POST arguments.
 *
 * The function looks for redirect arguments in the following order:
 * 1) $_GET['ref']
 * 2) $_POST['ref']
 * 3) $_SERVER['HTTP_REFERER']
 * 4) $_GET['redirect']
 * 5) $_POST['redirect']
 * 6) $url
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.3.0 Use wp_redirect()
 * @see wp_redirect()
 *
 * @param string $url Optional. Redirect URL. Default empty.
 */
function wpmu_admin_do_redirect( $url = '' ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.3.0', 'wp_redirect()' );

	$ref = '';
	if ( isset( $_GET['ref'] ) && isset( $_POST['ref'] ) && $_GET['ref'] !== $_POST['ref'] ) {
		wp_die( __( 'A variable mismatch has been detected.' ), __( 'Sorry, you are not allowed to view this item.' ), 400 );
	} elseif ( isset( $_POST['ref'] ) ) {
		$ref = $_POST['ref'];
	} elseif ( isset( $_GET['ref'] ) ) {
		$ref = $_GET['ref'];
	}

	if ( $ref ) {
		$ref = wpmu_admin_redirect_add_updated_param( $ref );
		wp_redirect( $ref );
		exit;
	}
	if ( ! empty( $_SERVER['HTTP_REFERER'] ) ) {
		wp_redirect( $_SERVER['HTTP_REFERER'] );
		exit;
	}

	$url = wpmu_admin_redirect_add_updated_param( $url );
	if ( isset( $_GET['redirect'] ) && isset( $_POST['redirect'] ) && $_GET['redirect'] !== $_POST['redirect'] ) {
		wp_die( __( 'A variable mismatch has been detected.' ), __( 'Sorry, you are not allowed to view this item.' ), 400 );
	} elseif ( isset( $_GET['redirect'] ) ) {
		if ( str_starts_with( $_GET['redirect'], 's_' ) )
			$url .= '&action=blogs&s='. esc_html( substr( $_GET['redirect'], 2 ) );
	} elseif ( isset( $_POST['redirect'] ) ) {
		$url = wpmu_admin_redirect_add_updated_param( $_POST['redirect'] );
	}
	wp_redirect( $url );
	exit;
}

/**
 * Adds an 'updated=true' argument to a URL.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.3.0 Use add_query_arg()
 * @see add_query_arg()
 *
 * @param string $url Optional. Redirect URL. Default empty.
 * @return string
 */
function wpmu_admin_redirect_add_updated_param( $url = '' ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.3.0', 'add_query_arg()' );

	if ( ! str_contains( $url, 'updated=true' ) ) {
		if ( ! str_contains( $url, '?' ) )
			return $url . '?updated=true';
		else
			return $url . '&updated=true';
	}
	return $url;
}

/**
 * Get a numeric user ID from either an email address or a login.
 *
 * A numeric string is considered to be an existing user ID
 * and is simply returned as such.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.6.0 Use get_user_by()
 * @see get_user_by()
 *
 * @param string $email_or_login Either an email address or a login.
 * @return int
 */
function get_user_id_from_string( $email_or_login ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.6.0', 'get_user_by()' );

	if ( is_email( $email_or_login ) )
		$user = get_user_by( 'email', $email_or_login );
	elseif ( is_numeric( $email_or_login ) )
		return $email_or_login;
	else
		$user = get_user_by( 'login', $email_or_login );

	if ( $user )
		return $user->ID;
	return 0;
}

/**
 * Get a full site URL, given a domain and a path.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 3.7.0
 *
 * @param string $domain
 * @param string $path
 * @return string
 */
function get_blogaddress_by_domain( $domain, $path ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '3.7.0' );

	if ( is_subdomain_install() ) {
		$url = "http://" . $domain.$path;
	} else {
		if ( $domain != $_SERVER['HTTP_HOST'] ) {
			$blogname = substr( $domain, 0, strpos( $domain, '.' ) );
			$url = 'http://' . substr( $domain, strpos( $domain, '.' ) + 1 ) . $path;
			// We're not installing the main blog.
			if ( 'www.' !== $blogname )
				$url .= $blogname . '/';
		} else { // Main blog.
			$url = 'http://' . $domain . $path;
		}
	}
	return sanitize_url( $url );
}

/**
 * Create an empty blog.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 4.4.0
 *
 * @param string $domain       The new blog's domain.
 * @param string $path         The new blog's path.
 * @param string $weblog_title The new blog's title.
 * @param int    $site_id      Optional. Defaults to 1.
 * @return string|int The ID of the newly created blog
 */
function create_empty_blog( $domain, $path, $weblog_title, $site_id = 1 ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '4.4.0' );

	if ( empty($path) )
		$path = '/';

	// Check if the domain has been used already. We should return an error message.
	if ( domain_exists($domain, $path, $site_id) )
		return __( '<strong>Error:</strong> Site URL you&#8217;ve entered is already taken.' );

	/*
	 * Need to back up wpdb table names, and create a new wp_blogs entry for new blog.
	 * Need to get blog_id from wp_blogs, and create new table names.
	 * Must restore table names at the end of function.
	 */

	if ( ! $blog_id = insert_blog($domain, $path, $site_id) )
		return __( '<strong>Error:</strong> There was a problem creating site entry.' );

	switch_to_blog($blog_id);
	install_blog($blog_id);
	restore_current_blog();

	return $blog_id;
}

/**
 * Get the admin for a domain/path combination.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 4.4.0
 *
 * @global wpdb $wpdb WordPress database abstraction object.
 *
 * @param string $domain Optional. Network domain.
 * @param string $path   Optional. Network path.
 * @return array|false The network admins.
 */
function get_admin_users_for_domain( $domain = '', $path = '' ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '4.4.0' );

	global $wpdb;

	if ( ! $domain ) {
		$network_id = get_current_network_id();
	} else {
		$_networks  = get_networks( array(
			'fields' => 'ids',
			'number' => 1,
			'domain' => $domain,
			'path'   => $path,
		) );
		$network_id = ! empty( $_networks ) ? array_shift( $_networks ) : 0;
	}

	if ( $network_id )
		return $wpdb->get_results( $wpdb->prepare( "SELECT u.ID, u.user_login, u.user_pass FROM $wpdb->users AS u, $wpdb->sitemeta AS sm WHERE sm.meta_key = 'admin_user_id' AND u.ID = sm.meta_value AND sm.site_id = %d", $network_id ), ARRAY_A );

	return false;
}

/**
 * Return an array of sites for a network or networks.
 *
 * @since 3.7.0
 * @deprecated 4.6.0 Use get_sites()
 * @see get_sites()
 *
 * @param array $args {
 *     Array of default arguments. Optional.
 *
 *     @type int|int[] $network_id A network ID or array of network IDs. Set to null to retrieve sites
 *                                 from all networks. Defaults to current network ID.
 *     @type int       $public     Retrieve public or non-public sites. Default null, for any.
 *     @type int       $archived   Retrieve archived or non-archived sites. Default null, for any.
 *     @type int       $mature     Retrieve mature or non-mature sites. Default null, for any.
 *     @type int       $spam       Retrieve spam or non-spam sites. Default null, for any.
 *     @type int       $deleted    Retrieve deleted or non-deleted sites. Default null, for any.
 *     @type int       $limit      Number of sites to limit the query to. Default 100.
 *     @type int       $offset     Exclude the first x sites. Used in combination with the $limit parameter. Default 0.
 * }
 * @return array[] An empty array if the installation is considered "large" via wp_is_large_network(). Otherwise,
 *                 an associative array of WP_Site data as arrays.
 */
function wp_get_sites( $args = array() ) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '4.6.0', 'get_sites()' );

	if ( wp_is_large_network() )
		return array();

	$defaults = array(
		'network_id' => get_current_network_id(),
		'public'     => null,
		'archived'   => null,
		'mature'     => null,
		'spam'       => null,
		'deleted'    => null,
		'limit'      => 100,
		'offset'     => 0,
	);

	$args = wp_parse_args( $args, $defaults );

	// Backward compatibility.
	if( is_array( $args['network_id'] ) ){
		$args['network__in'] = $args['network_id'];
		$args['network_id'] = null;
	}

	if( is_numeric( $args['limit'] ) ){
		$args['number'] = $args['limit'];
		$args['limit'] = null;
	} elseif ( ! $args['limit'] ) {
		$args['number'] = 0;
		$args['limit'] = null;
	}

	// Make sure count is disabled.
	$args['count'] = false;

	$_sites  = get_sites( $args );

	$results = array();

	foreach ( $_sites as $_site ) {
		$_site = get_site( $_site );
		$results[] = $_site->to_array();
	}

	return $results;
}

/**
 * Check whether a usermeta key has to do with the current blog.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 4.9.0
 *
 * @global wpdb $wpdb WordPress database abstraction object.
 *
 * @param string $key
 * @param int    $user_id Optional. Defaults to current user.
 * @param int    $blog_id Optional. Defaults to current blog.
 * @return bool
 */
function is_user_option_local( $key, $user_id = 0, $blog_id = 0 ) {
	global $wpdb;

	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '4.9.0' );

	$current_user = wp_get_current_user();
	if ( $blog_id == 0 ) {
		$blog_id = get_current_blog_id();
	}
	$local_key = $wpdb->get_blog_prefix( $blog_id ) . $key;

	return isset( $current_user->$local_key );
}

/**
 * Store basic site info in the blogs table.
 *
 * This function creates a row in the wp_blogs table and returns
 * the new blog's ID. It is the first step in creating a new blog.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 5.1.0 Use wp_insert_site()
 * @see wp_insert_site()
 *
 * @param string $domain  The domain of the new site.
 * @param string $path    The path of the new site.
 * @param int    $site_id Unless you're running a multi-network install, be sure to set this value to 1.
 * @return int|false The ID of the new row
 */
function insert_blog($domain, $path, $site_id) {
	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '5.1.0', 'wp_insert_site()' );

	$data = array(
		'domain'  => $domain,
		'path'    => $path,
		'site_id' => $site_id,
	);

	$site_id = wp_insert_site( $data );
	if ( is_wp_error( $site_id ) ) {
		return false;
	}

	clean_blog_cache( $site_id );

	return $site_id;
}

/**
 * Install an empty blog.
 *
 * Creates the new blog tables and options. If calling this function
 * directly, be sure to use switch_to_blog() first, so that $wpdb
 * points to the new blog.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated 5.1.0
 *
 * @global wpdb     $wpdb     WordPress database abstraction object.
 * @global WP_Roles $wp_roles WordPress role management object.
 *
 * @param int    $blog_id    The value returned by wp_insert_site().
 * @param string $blog_title The title of the new site.
 */
function install_blog( $blog_id, $blog_title = '' ) {
	global $wpdb, $wp_roles;

	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '5.1.0' );

	// Cast for security.
	$blog_id = (int) $blog_id;

	require_once ABSPATH . 'wp-admin/includes/upgrade.php';

	$suppress = $wpdb->suppress_errors();
	if ( $wpdb->get_results( "DESCRIBE {$wpdb->posts}" ) ) {
		die( '<h1>' . __( 'Already Installed' ) . '</h1><p>' . __( 'You appear to have already installed WordPress. To reinstall please clear your old database tables first.' ) . '</p></body></html>' );
	}
	$wpdb->suppress_errors( $suppress );

	$url = get_blogaddress_by_id( $blog_id );

	// Set everything up.
	make_db_current_silent( 'blog' );
	populate_options();
	populate_roles();

	// populate_roles() clears previous role definitions so we start over.
	$wp_roles = new WP_Roles();

	$siteurl = $home = untrailingslashit( $url );

	if ( ! is_subdomain_install() ) {

		if ( 'https' === parse_url( get_site_option( 'siteurl' ), PHP_URL_SCHEME ) ) {
			$siteurl = set_url_scheme( $siteurl, 'https' );
		}
		if ( 'https' === parse_url( get_home_url( get_network()->site_id ), PHP_URL_SCHEME ) ) {
			$home = set_url_scheme( $home, 'https' );
		}
	}

	update_option( 'siteurl', $siteurl );
	update_option( 'home', $home );

	if ( get_site_option( 'ms_files_rewriting' ) ) {
		update_option( 'upload_path', UPLOADBLOGSDIR . "/$blog_id/files" );
	} else {
		update_option( 'upload_path', get_blog_option( get_network()->site_id, 'upload_path' ) );
	}

	update_option( 'blogname', wp_unslash( $blog_title ) );
	update_option( 'admin_email', '' );

	// Remove all permissions.
	$table_prefix = $wpdb->get_blog_prefix();
	delete_metadata( 'user', 0, $table_prefix . 'user_level', null, true );   // Delete all.
	delete_metadata( 'user', 0, $table_prefix . 'capabilities', null, true ); // Delete all.
}

/**
 * Set blog defaults.
 *
 * This function creates a row in the wp_blogs table.
 *
 * @since MU (3.0.0)
 * @deprecated MU
 * @deprecated Use wp_install_defaults()
 *
 * @global wpdb $wpdb WordPress database abstraction object.
 *
 * @param int $blog_id Ignored in this function.
 * @param int $user_id
 */
function install_blog_defaults( $blog_id, $user_id ) {
	global $wpdb;

	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, 'MU' );

	require_once ABSPATH . 'wp-admin/includes/upgrade.php';

	$suppress = $wpdb->suppress_errors();

	wp_install_defaults( $user_id );

	$wpdb->suppress_errors( $suppress );
}

/**
 * Update the status of a user in the database.
 *
 * Previously used in core to mark a user as spam or "ham" (not spam) in Multisite.
 *
 * @since 3.0.0
 * @deprecated 5.3.0 Use wp_update_user()
 * @see wp_update_user()
 *
 * @global wpdb $wpdb WordPress database abstraction object.
 *
 * @param int    $id         The user ID.
 * @param string $pref       The column in the wp_users table to update the user's status
 *                           in (presumably user_status, spam, or deleted).
 * @param int    $value      The new status for the user.
 * @param null   $deprecated Deprecated as of 3.0.2 and should not be used.
 * @return int   The initially passed $value.
 */
function update_user_status( $id, $pref, $value, $deprecated = null ) {
	global $wpdb;

	_deprecated_function( __FUNCTION__, '5.3.0', 'wp_update_user()' );

	if ( null !== $deprecated ) {
		_deprecated_argument( __FUNCTION__, '3.0.2' );
	}

	$wpdb->update( $wpdb->users, array( sanitize_key( $pref ) => $value ), array( 'ID' => $id ) );

	$user = new WP_User( $id );
	clean_user_cache( $user );

	if ( 'spam' === $pref ) {
		if ( $value == 1 ) {
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Why Autism Will Never Interfere with Our Happiness

Here we are with another inspiring story about how a family beat the odds (and stereotype) of autism and emerged victorious. Through this series of Autism Success Stories, we want to celebrate the developments and achievements of our young stars and their families, and through them, want to let you know that there is always hope and support for you (as a parent and a professional).

 

This month, we feature 20-year-old Vishal Srinivas, and his parents – Viji and Srinivas. Srinivas works for a multinational corporation and Viji has been a teacher at SAI for 7 years. Vishal was a student at SAI for the duration too. Here is Viji sharing her’s and Vishal’s remarkable story of improvement and happiness.

 

On September 5th, 2000, I took Vishal for his first session with a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) at Anushakti Nagar, Chembur. As soon as we stepped out of the building after the session, Vishal freed himself from my hold and took off like a bullet. He kept running (on the footpath, thankfully) and didn’t turn back even once. It was a new place and I was terrified. While chasing him, I kept thinking, “God, where am I? What is happening? How will I get through this?”

 

Fast forward to September 5th, 2015, and Vishal stepped out of home with his father to go to the bank. We have a ritual: whenever a person leaves from home, someone from the family stands in the balcony and waves. If I leave, my mother-in-law stands in the balcony. That day, Vishal took his long, self-assured strides (he’s 6’ 2”), stopped, turned around to look at the balcony and waved “Bye ma! Bye patima (grandma)!” It’s a norm for him to wave out to us in the balcony now. Then he takes his long strides, reaches the end of the road and waits for the person accompanying him to catch up – whether his dad or me. My son has come such a long way.

 

Vishal was initially admitted to Sevadaan Special School in Chembur. He was placed in the group of most heavily affected children (probably because the staff found it hard to handle children with autism). I was in awe of children there who were adept at cooking and were paid for it. Today, my son, the masterchef, strides into our kitchen like a lion strides into his territory and takes charge. He inspects what is being cooked, stirs simmering dishes and is keen on helping. It’s like he’s the supervisor and I’m the assistant. Not without good reason. He is immensely fond of cooking – in fact, it’s his passion. The other day, he was preparing his favorite potato sabzi and it turned out spicy. I told him so. Rather than getting anxious, he calmly added more tomatoes to reduce the spiciness. He has remarkable acumen when it comes to altering the taste of dishes, whether they have to be sweetened or spiced up. And when I tell him to turn off the gas or add salt to a dish, I am confident that he will do it. No need for me to double check. All this from a boy who could not sit in one place due to hyperactivity.

How my son conquered autism

Vishal is sensitive to sound. When he was about 8 years old, he would bang his head hard against my arm whenever he heard a loud honk. It would hurt. But with time, he has learned to put his long fingers into his ears and partly insulate himself against loud noises. I laugh to myself when teenagers passing by wonder aloud which device to talk to someone or listen to music is so small that it is not visible… During the initial years, I simply took him along (more out of compulsion) and hoped that he would take care of himself in public. But after I joined the family consultation program, I started giving him responsibilities during our monthly provision shopping. And he loved it. Now I tell him what he has to buy orally (he’s an auditory learner) and simply have to linger around. He thinks and buys what he has been entrusted with. And once we check out, bags containing the items he has bought are his responsibility.

 

It’s age appropriate too. How many neuro-typical 20-year-olds help their parents? In fact, parents have to be more careful with 20-year-olds today. Who are they hanging out with? Are they doing something wrong? Are they lying? Not with Vishal, or any other child with autism, I believe. Living with someone with autism is a totally different experience. Our kids are loving, helpful and honest. If Vishal opens the fridge and eats a chocolate (which he rarely does, because he knows he has to follow a strict diet), he promptly walks up to me and says “I ate a chocolate.” My son’s honesty and love are reassuring.

 

Living with someone with autism can be both frustrating and gratifying. Vishal’s OCD can cause both these emotions in me. Frustration, well, if you know someone with OCD, you know what I mean. Gratifying, because once he returns home from somewhere, he puts his footwear in place, changes his clothes, washes his hands and feet and only then gets on the bed. His and my awareness and understanding have increased each day after I joined the family consultation program. I have stopped giving instructions to Vishal – it has been two years now – and the relation between him and me has blossomed. I have gained immense confidence in understanding my child, and this has helped me address and reduce one of his biggest challenges – his anxiety.

 

I want to share an incident with you. Vishal’s anxiety had reached disturbing levels in 2010. He would indulge in self-injurious behavior often. Years of purely following instructions can do that to you. He would use self-injurious behavior as a means of communication whenever he was anxious, not just on himself, but on others too. He would pull or push anyone close by, and this was impeding all his progress. It made many people around him anxious too (including yours truly). But a few weeks ago, something different occurred. We have a yoga instructor who comes home and helps Vishal do yoga for an hour (Vishal suffers from asthma. So though he loves the outdoors, he can’t spend much time there). During yoga, Vishal sweats profusely, like the cricketers we see on TV. During one session, he was tired and said something to the instructor. The instructor assumed that he had spoken in Tamil and said “Say it in English.” That was where Vishal had a bout of anxiety. Two years ago, at such times, he would have started hitting himself after saying “Adchiko” – a warning that he was about to cause harm. But today, he sat on the sofa and within a few seconds I was there. “What happened Vishal?”, I asked. The look on his face gave me the feeling that every parent yearns for. He looked at me through eyes with tears almost ready to roll out of them, as if saying “Thank God you are here! I am in so much trouble!” He told me what was troubling him and himself said “No adchiko.” Vishal feels reassured in my presence now. He knows that I am there for him and looks up to me. We share many beautiful moments together. These wonderful improvements in his life are not only because of his effort – they have come because I have worked hard on myself too. The family consultation program has taught me to stay calm when Vishal feels anxious. That gave me the confidence to take care of him which, in turn, gave him the reassurance that he could rely on me for anything. He and I trust each other implicitly now.

my son has conquered autism and does not let it come in his way of enjoying life

I could go on and on… about his love for music from Jagjit Singh to Honey Singh, about how he interacts with my relatives like a mature individual, how he likes to join conversations, how responsibly he conducted himself during the last rites of my grandmother, how he smiled when my relative’s 5-year-old daughter kept harrowing him to speak to her… and on and on… about how impressed people who interact with him are, how he thoroughly enjoyed himself sitting with folded legs on the floor and eating from a banana leaf during a family function. It’s wonderful to see the once hyperactive boy riddled with anxiety now conduct himself with such dignity in public, and become the master chef of my kitchen, and our lives.

 

I believe that we cannot expect professionals ‘cure our children’ magically. Whether a child with autism, or a neuro-typical one, we parents have to spend time with them and help them develop. Not just spend time, we have to encourage them to think for themselves, and treat them with dignity and respect – like grown-ups. This is the biggest lesson that I have learned from Mrs. Kamini Lakhani and my son. I have met many professionals who are also parents of children on the spectrum. But I have never seen anyone give as much respect and build a bond with the children like Mrs. Lakhani. Through our interactions which have spanned more than 7 years, I have learned to respect my son and treat him with dignity, and to expect others to do the same for Vishal and all other children on the autism spectrum.

 

Kamini Lakhani’s thoughts:

 

It is truly heartening to read this wonderful account about Vishal’s emergence. I am privileged to witness this emergence from close quarters.

 

In the past, I have watched the agonizing effects of his anxiety, on himself and others around him. Today, this self assured, competent young man, brings joy to my heart, as he strides through life. What I see today is a beautiful, meaningful relationship between mother and son. A relationship that is based on trust. Hats off to Viji’s hard work and diligence.

 

I look forward with hope, for Vishal to find his place in the sun.

 

If you are the parent or guardian of someone with autism or a learning disability, your family can achieve these remarkable results too. Our parent training program will offer you all the support and guidance that you need for these landmark improvements.

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Kamini Lakhani

Kamini Lakhani is the founder and director of SAI Connections. She has been providing services in the field of autism for more than 25 years and is the authorized director of Professional Training for RDI in India and the Middle East. She is also the mother of a young adult with autism.

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