5 Proven Ways to Make Your Child Overcome His Behavioral Hurdles

In the previous post, we looked beneath the surface of ‘misbehavior’ of children with autism. (If you haven’t read it, you can read it here. Do read it before reading further.) The post explained how, what we think is bad behavior or stubbornness, is actually a call for your help.


Now, let’s examine steps you can take to enable your child to overcome these hurdles and live a better life.


Here are five certain steps you can take:


1. Be Calm


This is not easy. But it can be done.


If both of you are angry or upset at the same time, the situation will escalate quickly.


Yes, it’s not fair you have to deal with this. But who said life’s fair?


I give myself a day to mope around. Then I return to the situation and face it head-on.


Do whatever you need to do, to fortify yourself. See a counselor to help you confront your own feelings and rationalize them.

(You can also sign up for our parent training program.)

Make sure you are in a good place. Only then will you be able to help your child.


2. Don’t Take it Personally


Your child may be rude to you. He may be hitting out at you. He may be aggressive with you. But it’s not about you.


He’s dealing with his own issues. He’s dealing with inner turmoil. Don’t let this ruin your relationship.


Many times, parents say, “he was so aggressive but once it was over, he was back to normal. As if nothing happened.”


Yes. That’s because he may be experiencing an issue that he cannot express. He’s not targeting you. So don’t take it personally.


3. Think of Communication


It’s ideal to work on effective communication as soon as the child is diagnosed.


Sometimes, these issues are not addressed even when the child is much older.


Many children learn to speak as they grow older. Some don’t speak. But that doesn’t mean they can’t communicate.


If you need help to figure out the best communication modality for your child fill out this form and email it to us. I’ll be happy to offer suggestions. [Download the form from here.]


4. Regulate


This is the golden key.


Set up a simple activity. Simplify. Slow down. Stop giving instructions. Demonstrate a pattern and let your child perceive it.


For example: Toss a ball back and forth. Once your child understands his role, change it just a little by changing position. Add more variations.


Once he’s successful, add a slight challenge. What happens if you pass 2 balls at the same time? You could use a variety of activities which involve a back and forth pattern.


Ball play, simple household activities such as loading a washing machine, washing dishes, setting the table, cooking are some examples.


Parents report greater awareness of situations and an overall calming effect on their child. Try it and let me know how it goes for you.


5. Encode Positive Experiences


It’s easy for autistic people to remember negative experiences. However, to develop competence and a strong sense of self, we must encode positive experiences for them.


Take pictures of them enjoying an activity or being successful with something. Save these on a tablet. Share it with them later. Talk about these times with them.


This makes them feel competent.
save memories for children with autism

Everyone wants to feel good about themselves, right? Let them have something positive to look forward to.


Which of these steps are you going to try? Do share with me in the comments. And I’d also love to heat from you about how they worked out.


I will be conducting a 2 hour training on dealing with problem behaviors.


I’m also conducting a 2 hour training on dealing with problem behaviors on 15th April. For more details, you can contact us here.



Leave a Reply to Kamini Lakhani Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>