One Word You Have Forgotten That Will Improve Your Child’s Life

“I don’t have a calm moment with him around. He’s so noisy and boisterous.”

“I need to watch him 24/7, in case he does something dangerous to himself. I can’t even go out to meet my friends.”

“He can’t read or write and he has poor motor skills. He doesn’t cope well at school, he has no friends.”

“How long will I be around to take care of him?”

“Life is tough.”

Thoughts like these crowded my mind and made themselves comfortable in every nook and cranny.

The word ‘can’t’ loomed large.

Despair and fear ran rampant in all my waking hours. They galloped like wild horses to steal my peace of mind.

My back was to the sun and it was scorched. I could only see darkness casting its shadow in my path.

For many years, I focused on ‘can’t’.

Then, I got tired of living with limitations and decided to change something within myself.

Do you feel the same, dear friend?

If yes, remember that you’re not alone.

But also, do remember that there is another way. It’s better, and more beautiful. All it takes, is a one-word change in your dictionary.

Don’t let the sun scorch your back. Put on your sunglasses, and face it. Breathe deeply and see it engulf you in its warmth and light.

Before telling you what the word is, I want to share some more thoughts running in my head.

As I write this, I think of Mohit’s piercing gaze and his warm hug enveloping me.

How does he know when I need a hug when no words have passed between us? I feel unconditional love and acceptance from him. He holds space for me – just to be myself.

There are no judgements or pronouncements – only acceptance.

I think of Aashni.

The most used word in her vocabulary is “love“.

She greets everyone with “I love you.” It’s a word you and I use too little of. Aashni on the other hand, uses it in abundance.

Love without any restriction or conditioning – in its purest form. It’s as if she hands out these little parcels of love to everybody who crosses her path.

How divine! (By the way, this is STILL not the word I’m talking about.)

Nafi walks into my cabin every day, like the majestic prince that he is.

Earlier, teachers stopped him from as they thought he might disturb my sessions.

One day, I asked the teacher to let him in. I wanted to see what Nafi would do.

He came and stood behind my chair, while 8 pairs of eyes looked at him, smiling.

We were in a parent group meeting, you see.

He tapped the back of my chair a couple of times. Then he reached out for my hand and kissed it.

Then, he walked out as swiftly as he came in.

This is now a routine. Nafi checking in on me is a part of my day. Especially when I feel low, I’m sure he’ll walk in, bless me and walk out.

All 3 youngsters are diagnosed with Autism, and have problems with communicating the ‘normal’ way.

And yet, they stand head and shoulders above anybody else that I know of.

My dear friends, I’ve spent more than 2 decades working with these wonderful folks and their families. I see them as beautifully evolved, spiritual souls.

I spent many years in trying to ‘fix’ them. It did not work. I could feel their gaze on me, and their voices saying, “When will you get it?” “When will you see us for who we are?”

You’ve fought long and hard, you’re exhausted.

I know how you feel.

For a moment can you focus on 1 thing that your child did that warmed your heart?

I’m sure you can!

Now, I’m going to push you just a little more. Not over the edge, I promise.

List 5 incidents when you child’s intelligence or love thrilled you.

Now read slowly and absorb the incidents.

How do you feel? Lighter? Happier? Relieved? Encouraged?

All of the above?

Working on this exercise twice a week will show you that your child is capable of much more than you give him credit for.

Before you know it, you’re already bathed in the sun’s warmth and you have taken the first step towards making your child independent in life.

This shift in perspective from ‘can’t’ to ‘can’ will help you tap into your child’s hidden potential.

Can I ask you for one more favor?

Have you written out the 5 points? Now please mention them in the comments section. I would love to read them, just like hundreds of others who will read this post. It not only will give us joy, but also courage to know that we are on the right path to secure our children’s future.

So just change the focus from ‘can’t’ to ‘can’. And stay safe and enjoy the blessings of this auspicious season.

P.S. If you would like our help in building a stronger bond with your child and setting him on the path to independence, you can click here.