How To Reduce Your Own Anxiety As A Special Needs Parent

She sat across me, elegant and dignified with her hair coiffed in a little bun.
There was a smile on her face.
I mentioned she looked happier than before.


She shared how she had been worried about her son’s future due to his aggression.
She had become sad and distressed.


Everything was seen through the lens of the aggression story.
‘If something happens to me or my husband, what’s going to happen to him.”


Then she had got admission into a residential center of her choice.
Her worries went down by 70%.


That was the reason for the changed demeanor and the happiness.


This is not uncommon.
All of us go through crises in our lives. Our situation may not be exactly like the mother in the story above.


But most of us worry about the future.


I’d like you to go through the following statements.
Respond with a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’
• You feel like you are operating in day-to-day survival mode.


• You feel unable to take a step back to obtain a larger perspective.


• You have narrowed your focus and expend all of your energy putting out fires and reacting to immediate problems.


• You are functioning at a frantic pace that leaves you unable to productively reflect, or consider the future.


• You often feel physically and mentally exhausted.


• You sometimes feel desperate, willing to try anything and everything.


• You have become fearful of change – afraid of rocking the boat in any manner.
If you’ve answered yes to any of the above, then you’re in a crisis mindset.
(Dr Steve Gutstein, RDI Connect)


I want you to remember one thing. The past is gone, the future is not yet here.
You have only the present.
And you can only take action in the present.




Implement the following guide lines to get out of crisis.
Engage in physical activity


Physical activity is a must. I recommend it for all my students. And parents.


I’ve been doing yoga since many years now.
I’ve recently joined cross fit classes.
I can’t imagine my life without these intense classes.


I may complain to my instructor when he gives me a tough workout.
But in my heart, I bless him for it.


You know that a physical activity such as brisk walking or exercise releases endorphins, right?


Besides it keeps you healthy and in shape.


Get physical exercise into your day.


Do something you enjoy


Ask someone to be with your child/ children. This could be a family member or a friend who has volunteered.


Do something only for yourself.


Take yourself for a treat. You deserve it.


I indulge myself with a hot cappuccino and a warm chocolate croissant.
It takes me back to Paris, my favorite city.


And I don’t need anybody with me. I’m happy to be with myself, just watching the world pass by.


The noise outside, spotlights the peace within.


What works for you? What would you like to treat yourself with? What is your ‘me’ time?


Spend quality time with your child


It’s not about the amount of time you spend with your child.
It’s about the quality.
When you’re with him or her, be fully present.
Encode the good times though photographs or short videos.


Spending quality time with your child will replenish you.
It will center you.


Spending quality time with Mohit is is an integral part of my life.
I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.


If you want to learn how to connect with your child in a step by step manner, reach out to us. 


Limits are in your mind
Get rid of the limits you have unknowingly placed on your child.
And on yourself.
It’s time to break out of your shell. You have already seen signs of your child’s brilliance.
You have noted the speed with which he plays ipad games, the way he learns by one demonstration, how he recognizes routes.
Or how neatly she puts toys and clothes away, the amazing artistic talent.
Your child may not talk. That has nothing to do with the way his or her mind works.
At this point, you may feel stressed and constricted.
Practice the above points, diligently, daily.
Start with 10 minutes and move up to 30.
Your child came to you to expand your life.




Trust me, when you get away from the fear and anxiety, you will perceive this truth.
A scar only tells how beautiful and unbreakable YOU truly are.
Become aware of your own strength and beauty.
Join a complimentary, group class at SAI Connections.
Interacting in a guided class, with other mothers who go through the same challenges as you, will help you.



Kamini Lakhani

Kamini Lakhani is the founder and director of SAI Connections. She has been providing services in the field of autism for more than 25 years and is the authorized director of Professional Training for RDI in India and the Middle East. She is also the mother of a young adult with autism.


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