Have You Taken the ‘Acceptance’ Leap Yet?

It was a wonderful day in sunny San Francisco. The winding, steep roads, colorful foliage and chirping birds created a joyful, light hearted feeling within me.

I crossed the street as soon as the ‘walk signal’ came on.

From the corner of my eye, I could see a speeding car hurtling towards me.

My heart didn’t miss a beat. I knew the driver would slow down on seeing the stop signal.

Suddenly, I had an epiphany.

I wasn’t afraid because I trusted the system.

I was confident that the car would stop. And it did.

The question loomed large in my mind: Did I trust the unseen universe as much?

Honest answer? Sometimes yes, but most times, no.

Hasn’t this kind universe taken care of us all?

Yet, why didn’t I feel this same kind of confidence as a parent… like I felt while crossing the street in San Francisco?

Recently, my helper’s visa was refused by the US Consulate. It came as a blow as she had been to the US with us, twice before. Her presence would make Mohit’s trip more comfortable. I struggled with the decision and tried my best to make it work – my way.

Despite all my efforts and prayers, things didn’t work out as I envisaged. Mohit wasn’t able to travel with us.

But, a couple of incidents that occurred during the trip made me realize how difficult this trip would have been for Mohit.

Traveling without Mohit certainly wasn’t what I wanted. But in the circumstances it was the best solution.

It’s strange isn’t it? How we connect the dots on hindsight?

If I had accepted the decision immediately, would I have struggled less?

Thinking about acceptance got me thinking about autism.

On Autism Awareness Day, we had published an article.

Some of the questions that I had put out to parents were –

1. Do you know how much he understands, even though he may not speak?

2. Do you know how he learns? What is his learning style?

3. Do you know how overwhelmed he gets because of his highly sensitive system?

4. Do you know how much more he is than the label that he carries?

5. Do you know about his strengths, his talents?

6. Do you know how he overcompensates for his difficulties?

There’s something else that I want to share with you.

As I delve deeper into my journey with autism, I find myself changing.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about acceptance.

Part 1 of acceptance means being aware of who your child is and how he learns.

Part 2 means not judging him or trying to change him.

Ready to go deeper into acceptance?

It means being confident of their abilities.

It means trusting their potential.

It means believing that the best is yet to, and will, emerge.

It means having faith that they are perfect as they are.

Yes, this is the most important and worth the repetition. They are perfect as they are.

20 years ago, when Mohit was a little boy, I had made several vows.

“When Mohit becomes well, I will go visit ____ temple.”

“When Mohit recovers from autism, I will conduct a special puja.”

“When Mohit is fine, I will feed _____ number of people.”

When I shared this with Lori Shayew, she said, “Do that puja, visit that temple, feed the people. For Mohit is well. He is complete. He is perfect.”

And do you know the best part? When I accept him as perfect, he blossoms.

The ball is now in my court, dear friend. And the words are engraved in my heart.

I think about Mohit. And I think about the shy, timid mother, who was shattered with his autism diagnosis.

Mohit, you made me understand my responsibility and potential.

You gave birth to this person who rose above this situation to become professionally qualified.

Just by being yourself, you put me on a journey of lifelong learning.

And today, you’re teaching me to break away from the boundaries of fear and limitation into the expanse of love and acceptance.

It will be my privilege and blessing to do the puja to honor the perfectly endowed being that you are.

For this time, I want to take that first step forward.

I don’t want to have to connect the dots on hindsight.

And I don’t want to struggle any more.